Today at work someone was stating something and I said it was a fact. Another worker said it was complaining. I then said there is a difference from stating facts or complaining. He said in his mind they are one in the same. He is somewhat right. Both can be one in the same and I will explain as this blog goes on.
First I will describe what facts are in the way I see them. It is a fact if you tell someone the time or the temperature. It is also a fact if you let people know how many hours you have to work or how much your gas bill is. When you state something that can not be denied , it is a fact.
Now here is where the two can merge together. If you state a fact with a sour look on your face and whine about a fact, then it can be taken as a complaint. Instead of just saying it is 6:30 P.M. with no off kilter body language or a different pitched voice, it’s a fact. But if you act like you are about to cry or yell that it’s only 6:30 P.M. and throw in some cuss words, then yes that fact will sound like you are complaining. Remember , it’s how you say something and the way you act when you say it. You can turn a fact into a complaint.
Now here is where a complaint is a complaint no matter how you say it. If you use words or phrases like ; Why me? How come I…? Why the F… are you looking at me? Damit , I only have a quarter!!! Throwing in expletives and the why’s,how come’s, and the you are always …., type of quotes. Those will always sound bad and will always be looked at as complaining, no matter how big of a grin you have on your face and how nice your voice is when you say them.
Opinions can be looked at as complaining. If you say that it is hot or cold out, others may say ” stop you whining”. When in fact you just stated your opinion. It’s all in your tone of voice and your body language.
Remember how to keep facts as facts, so the outside people looking in do not think you are complaining. It’s your tone of voice, your body language, and the words you use and the order in how you use them.
P.S. Complaining behind closed doors every now and then is good so that you don’t get stressed out. It’s called venting, just do not do it in public or when you want to state a true fact.