Shopping , one legged men, and three legged cats.

As I went shopping today with my daughter ( fun but hectic ) in a very busy mall ( good sign ) , I noticed one thing. All of the ladies in the stores looked like they were enjoying themselves , and that is a good thing. All of the men with the shopping ladies had this look on their face like they were tired . They looked like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest ( about to pass out ). I was one of those men. By the time we left I felt like I had been in a 4 hour contest.

When ladies shop, they go to the store not knowing what they are going to buy. This is one time I wish ladies had the mind of a man. When men go shopping we know what we are getting and what our spending limit is for that object.

I also saw a lot of confused and nervous looks on men . They looked like a three-legged cat in a kitty litter box. If these stores that cater to ladies want men to look like we are relaxed and not nervous looking, have a room with ESPN on T.V. so we can enjoy the moment when the ladies shop for 8 hours .  With ESPN on in the stores there will be no more three-legged cats, or one-legged men in the stores.

QUOTE OF THE DAY ; When you have exhausted all possibilities , remember this-you haven’t. ( Edge Keynote ).

Heads up !

Have you ever been to a baseball game ? You’re sitting there enjoying the food and atmosphere and out of the blue sky a foul ball comes screaming for your head. And all you hear is “heads up “!

Well foul balls are like displaced anger. You run into a person at work or a family member and all of a sudden they are yelling at you for no reason. It may be that they are mad at another part of their life and their foul ball ( temper ) comes flying out of the blue and almost hits you square in the forehead . Then you get mad at them and all of a sudden bats are swinging ( name calling and accusing each other ) .

To stop the foul balls ( arguments ) the person who is upset needs to just say ” hey I am not in a good mood today , it has nothing to do with you”. Communication is key in life ( that’s the heads up in life ). I have had a few displaced anger days in my life, and I catch myself on it and say I’m sorry. Displaced anger is worse than being straight up mad at the person you may be swinging bats with. At least the person sees the foul ball coming ( argument ).  It’s not good being caught off guard, that foul ball ( displaced anger ) can leave a huge knot on the forehead.

So let’s enjoy the baseball game and not have any ” foul balls” hit anyone in the forehead. It can hurt for a long time. PLAY BALL !!!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY ; Focus on your natural strengths and abilities. Exploit what you have, not what you don’t have . ( Eric Ossermon ).

YOU are the DRUNK SINGER !!!!

   Last night I went out to play pool at the local hole in the wall. As I was Sitting there watching T.V. waiting to play free pool , this drunk dude started to sing. In his case ,  it sounded like a stuttering cow giving birth . And to top it off his ability to keep up with the beats was like a semi driving down the high way with 3 blown tires. He was bouncing all over the place and was 3 days late. What I am getting at was it was funny to hear and he thought he was the next American Idol winner.  Have you ever been in a situation where someone at work , home , or a leader of an organization think they was all that and a bag of chips by the rules they had in place ? But everyone else was thinking ” you are the drunk singer ” ! Have you ever saw a parson dress so outrageous trying to be so cool they are not ? They are the drunk singer. Right now as I type this there are a lot of drunk singers in political office thinking they can sing ( make good laws or run things ) ,  but they can’t.

So next time you are in a situation where someone thinks they are hitting every note ( making rules or laws that you don’t agree with or trying to act cool ) just turn to them and say ; ” YOU ARE THE DRUNK SINGER “.

P.S. I hope I did not offend any karaoke singers out there . I am just trying to make you smile and look at situations in a different way.

YES, I am getting better. I hit the spell check button , and I only had 1 misspelled word . Not the 20-30 misspelled words like in the past.

QUOTE OF THE DAY ; Spectacular achievement is always preceded by spectacular preparation. ( Dr. Robert Schuller ).

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AUTO-TUNE THIS PEOPLE!!!!!!!

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thisbloggingi-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001UV4XHY&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr  Before I get into the title of my “blog” , I will explain what auto-tune is for those who do not understand it. AUTO-TUNE ; Auto-Tune is a proprietary^[2] audio processor created by Antares Audio Technologies. Auto-Tune uses a phase vocoder to correct pitch in vocal and instrumental performances. It is used to disguise off-key inaccuracies and mistakes, and has allowed singers to perform apparently perfectly tuned vocal tracks without needing to sing in tune. While its main purpose is to slightly blend sung pitches to the nearest true semitone (to the exact pitch of the nearest tone in traditional equal temperament), Auto-Tune can be used as an effect to distort the human voice when pitch is raised or lowered significantly.^[3]The overall effect to the discerning ear can be described as hearing, for example, the voice leap from note to note stepwise, like a synthesizer. ( Copied and pasted from wikipedia ).

 In other words auto-tune is used when a person sounds like crap when they sing or rap and it covers up their inability to perform.   I think that there are a lot of people in this world that needs to auto-tune their attitude and ways in this life time. Have you ever worked with someone who has a crappy way of dealing with things at work? Tell them to auto-tune their life. How many have been a part of a corporation where the GREEDY C.E.O tried to reinvent the wheel ( fix a company procedure that ain’t broke ) and their ideas ran the company in the ground? Well tell the next GREEDY C.E.O. to auto-tune their ideas. How many have family members who keep coming up with ideas that end up putting a strain on the family life? Tell them to auto-tune their ideas. How many have been keeping up with the recent news with the world leaders? ALL of them need to auto-tune their laws they pass and the way the treat others ( wars, arguing over bills that each side wants credit for and are the same except for who wrote it ).

 So many times this last few months I have wanted to tell the “political” leaders of this great country to auto-tune their behavior and ways of thinking because they are making AMERICA look like a BUTTERFACE NATION ( previous blog ).So next time you run across a person who has an idea that you think needs revamping, tell that person to AUTO-TUNE it. And let the rotten singers and rappers who use auto-tune remind you of this term when you hear them on the radio or at an awards show getting an award. Or we can change this great country to having real singers ( political leaders and corporate leaders ) who does not use auto-tune and who can sing with their real voice ( think in a rational and common sense way ).

QUOTE OF THE DAY ; If I moved to Hollywood , I could have been a famous movie star . ; That means don’t live off of what if’s ( my dad ).

Please spread the word for this blog . Thank you.